Living In The World Of Chronic Pain

For those who don't know me in real life, I am physically handicapped. I even have that cute placard that goes on my rearview mirror so that I can park in the designated spaces in parking lots. The inury was caused by an unfortunate incident back in 1998-short version, it took less than 5 seconds to change my body capabilities from a young woman of 24 who once was able to execute perfect cartwheels, walk on her hands, loved diving, biking, full of energy and could do this cool trick where I could wrap one leg around my neck while standing perfectly straight to someone who started out with spasmic pain in her lower back slowly progressing into a woman who needs a cane to walk, has moments where she loses sensation in her legs causing them to fall out from under me and has actually lost jobs because of her condition-although that is never actually said when it happens, I know it's the reason.
I am one of the large percentage of Americans living with and dealing with Chronic Pain. I get looks for the medication I take, judged on it too. I have been told it is in my head, despite having an MRI that displays the damage-which includes my S-1 completely crushed to the point of nearly being bone on bone, my S-2/3 herniated and protruding out to the right, my S-4 herniated, protruding and dangling down to the left side and my S-5 herniated, protruding and wrapped around the column, causing it to hit various nerves with almost no warning. My surrounding lumbar muscles are stiff as bone from overworking to support my decrepit back. I wake up every morning reminded that I will not have proper feeling in my legs for a few hours, use my cane and barely keep up with my frisky teenage boy, almost teenage girl and sassy 9 year old girl. I live with pain, it surrounds my life, however I refuse to be a slave to it.
So I have decided to write about it. I know pain, I know how it discriminates me from a normal life and I know, without a doubt I am not alone in this. There is more to it than medication and doctor appointments and I would like to bring those issues to light, so I will.

Some details-you know my injury-I am an almost 38 year old married mother of three children and three must be a theme to my life-I have three children, I have married three times and I am one of three children. I have my older two children from my first husband, my youngest from my second husband-it was after her birth when the massive injuries were discovered-so no more babies for me-although my husband and I would probably make a damn adorable baby. I am currently unemployed-possibly due to my physical issues. My goal with this blog is to share my experiences in the Handicapped world, inform people of options for the uninsured and provide people like me with proof that it isn't in their head, but that being Handicapped shouldn't stop our lives or put our worlds on hold due to pain.