Gramma Is The Summer

The last day of school is historically the date most children associate with summer coming. In our household however, summer wasn't officially on until Gramma came for her yearly, month long visit.

My Gramma used to visit every summer-indeed we marked the coming of the summer with her and Grampa Willie pulling up in the driveway. My mother would be rushing around the week prior all but sterilizing the house-Gramma was neat-a trait my mother never quite inherited and as such rather than have Gramma pop out of the car and start cleaning-which she WOULD do, we all cleaned before she came. My sister and I sacrificed our sanctuary of a bedroom in order to house Gramma and Grampa, relocating to the rec room in our basement-neither of us minded-since it was summer, the cool of the basement was very welcoming and besides, we usually we so happy to have Gramma there we'd probably sleep on rocks to accommodate her.

She always brought presents, crazy things that as a child we loved to go through-Gramma always brought fascinating items with her-frying pans, crazy kitchen gadgets etc. Nothing was to be wasted with Gramma-she saved everything in a neat and orderly fashion which I envied. She also brought tons of whatever her cooking project was that year and was guaranteed to make plenty while she was at my parent's house. Coffee cans and various tins were produced containing homemade English Muffins, cookies etc. Her specialty were the Chocolate Chip Cookies-for years we had no clue-but it turns out one of the ingredients was Kaluha-and yes that makes it taste amazing!

With Gramma came something that to this day makes me think of her-cigarette smoke. She smoked Pall Malls-unfiltered. We had Central Air Conditioning thanks to my father's line of work-so fortunately it circulated out of the house for the most part-however the smell would hang in the air. That mixed with her pearl toned nail polish-gave a particular scent to the house that when she left-we knew she was gone. My mother would never tolerate anyone smoking in the house-but when Gramma was there-she never batted an eyelash. Gramma would wave her hand and dismiss me whenever I scolded her for smoking-I made such an issue out of it that when I was in High School and I smoked one cigarette I was reminded for the rest of Gramma's life about the incident.

With Gramma also came all our relatives. Hours upon hours of visitors, cake, coffee and conversations. My family is a literal melting pot due to Gramma remarrying after her first husband-my mom's father-took off for what appeared at the time-no reason. After 7 years she was allowed to divorce him without him there and she remarried my Grampa Willie-who in the technical sense was my Step-Grampa, but to me he was as much my family as anyone else. We called him Grampa Willie to distinguish him from my dad's father, Grampa. Grampa Willie to this day is probably one of the smartest men I ever met in my life-he had moved to America from his homeland of Puerto Rico, had lived an interesting childhood of poverty, came to America I believe around 1950 and became a Mailman for the United Postal Service. I always thought he should have become a teacher-he was a very intelligent man who absorbed information like a sponge. He adored all his Grandchildren, just like Gramma did and being in their presence could make anyone smile because you just felt loved-they exuded this familial love that wrapped around you and could provide so much comfort.

Grampa Willie had been married prior before and as such my extended family is huge, since their heritage was Puerto Rican, I was raised with a very anti-Racist mentality. It is one of the things I can say I love them both for-creating a childhood that shows acceptance of races and shunning ignorance is a great and irreplaceable gift. Gramma hated one thing-Judgemental people. I still carry that with me.

I loved seeing my cousins, my Uncles-some summers we would get lucky and the whole house would be crammed with the ENTIRE clan. My Uncles-Jaime (incidentally my Godfather) and David, their children, Gramma, Grampa and almost a revolving door of various extended family would spin through the house. I loved it-to date it summers when Gramma and Grampa Willie came were probably up as the happiest times in my life.

Then of course-there was the food. My Gramma was a master cook and with all these people, came a ton of food. My Uncle Pito-Grampa Willie's oldest son from his first marriage-would come in bearing donuts, bagels etc. Aunt Eleanor would walk in, picture perfect in her neat suits providing cake-my sisters and I to this day have a theory that Aunt El has a Entenmanns Factory located in her basement, pasta made up by Gramma, rice and beans, and this yummy pork that I still have to pull the recipe out of my cousin Glen called Pernal. The refrigerator was stuffed with every and any kind of snack, cold cuts and treats. Gramma was a firm believer in always having something sweet on hand-my mother was generally anti-sugar-Gramma believed ice cream was mandatory-in her case she would actually mix it with Pepsi (stop retching-ever have a root beer float? Think about this). If my mom said no to Ice Cream, Gramma would produce a bowl of it, declaring she "superseded" my mother as the Gramma and a little something sweet never hurt anyone.

The house was alive when they came. The chaos was as comforting as their presence. She always left behind something special for each of us when she came, slipped money in our pockets when she could, made sure if one of us wanted dessert-it happened-even if it was before the meal. She would ask if we wanted a snack and would produce this huge plate of whatever she made in front of us. She taught me to cook, patiently gulping any crazy creation I came up with praising it as if it were the best of gourmet.

I still have china she patiently gathered from a grocery store special-one of those long forgotten premium deals where one buys so many groceries and you get one piece of china at a time. She had gathered a 4 place setting, complete with main plate, salad plate, bread plate, saucer and teacup. To date, excepting one tea cup-I still have it all. She gave it to me when I was 9 and it stayed patiently in my parents attic for years until I finally claimed it-during that time I always had one saucer and one teacup which came where ever I moved to remind me of her.

The best thing however was Gramma was probably one of the most supportive people on the face of the planet. Although she stopped working after a fashion-her job in life-as far as she was concerned-was the Public Relations manager of all her Children & Grandchildren. One of her gifts was making you feel so special. If one of us had a dream-she supported it with an infectious enthusiasm that I have never seen in my life. If it was our graduation-she was the one standing up and applauding before our names even finished being pronounced. She encouraged all of us to not just walk the unbeaten path, but pound our feet in determination to make our own mark and path-filled with examples for all who came after us to follow.

If anyone crossed us-she'd scold them....... and then invite them to the table to eat-no one was forbidden from her table. Gramma had a firm belief in this-proven that even at her funeral-ex-girlfriends of both my Uncles showed up-weeping with us, just as Gramma would have had it. She'd let you know how she felt and she'd move on. I loved that about her. My empathy and compassion was directly influenced by her actions. A deeply religious woman, her faith was unshakable. Her advice was savvy and her wisdom was beyond reproach.

Summer comes and with it my neighbor smoking a cigarette-the acrid smell combined with the summer smells of New England makes me close my eyes and remember how for one month every summer-Gramma showed us how much we were the center of her universe.

Gramma was home, even when she lived in Florida and was just a phone call away. She could make even the most discarded person feel loved and accepted. When Eric died, I found comfort in the thought that Gramma was at the front and center of the greeting party in heaven, ushering him in, hugging him and saying " You were married to my Granddaughter,so just that you know, that makes you my Grandson-welcome"-probably followed by her feeding him non-stop from her top notch kitchen because as far as I am concerned, Gramma's heaven would be a kitchen feeding every and anyone.

I miss you a lot Gramma-I hope you know that in my heart you are summer, always.