Up From The Ashes.............

I have taken a very long sabbatical from writing my blog, however I am at the point where I realize my writing was something missing from my life and I need to make more of a habit of doing it-I find it an expression and also theraputic. Where have I been? Well unemployed since June 2010, although I entered the world of temporary employment this past summer at one of my old jobs who kindly took me on for their busy season-which did two things-allowed me to work again and made me realize I really miss what I used to do and I want to get back into it. I am married to Mark, something I never thought I would do again-I feel like Ross Geller from "Friends" the "3rd Marriage" thing but my marriage to Mark made me realize a few things-which are-in no particular order: -like Maude in "Harold & Maude", to fall in love is a wonderful thing, but if you lose your love-honor their memory-then go and love some more -certain things are worth the risk -my children want me happy -Eric may have left this world, but when I feel the need to want to speak to him or think about him, I feel him near and it comforts me -Karma exists, but she has this on-going relationship with patience -my husband, Mark, loves me-despite my faults and eccentricities -however I also know I will never be a Yankee fan (but he still loves me so that's cool -sex when your older is fantastic-like wine it improves with age -representing yourself in court IS possible and finally one of the most important things I have learned: I may be handicapped, but I am not helpless I am going to be taking risks, some emotional, some professional and I realize that I don't need to fear rejection. It's never personal. I am reminded by an action figure Stacey gave me "The Bride" -which she gave me because I also get back up, restructure and survive. I beat amazing odds, didn't give up and got back custody of my children, my next battle for the child support may be hard but I am doing it and doing it full on. I have also learned that help is there when you ask for it-I have a dentist willing to fix my teeth, my back doctor searching for someone to fix my back and things aren't as bad as they seem. I have good friends and I am remaining true to who I am inside. I have a plan for 10 years from now, I just need to tend to the next 10 years. My victory is that despite the odds and the craziness, my kids love me and nothing anyone does can change that. Into the fray-things need to be done and I am doing them