Just Here To Read............Maybe Write A Little

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Up From The Ashes.............

I have taken a very long sabbatical from writing my blog, however I am at the point where I realize my writing was something missing from my life and I need to make more of a habit of doing it-I find it an expression and also theraputic. Where have I been? Well unemployed since June 2010, although I entered the world of temporary employment this past summer at one of my old jobs who kindly took me on for their busy season-which did two things-allowed me to work again and made me realize I really miss what I used to do and I want to get back into it. I am married to Mark, something I never thought I would do again-I feel like Ross Geller from "Friends" the "3rd Marriage" thing but my marriage to Mark made me realize a few things-which are-in no particular order: -like Maude in "Harold & Maude", to fall in love is a wonderful thing, but if you lose your love-honor their memory-then go and love some more -certain things are worth the risk -my children want me happy -Eric may have left this world, but when I feel the need to want to speak to him or think about him, I feel him near and it comforts me -Karma exists, but she has this on-going relationship with patience -my husband, Mark, loves me-despite my faults and eccentricities -however I also know I will never be a Yankee fan (but he still loves me so that's cool -sex when your older is fantastic-like wine it improves with age -representing yourself in court IS possible and finally one of the most important things I have learned: I may be handicapped, but I am not helpless I am going to be taking risks, some emotional, some professional and I realize that I don't need to fear rejection. It's never personal. I am reminded by an action figure Stacey gave me "The Bride" -which she gave me because I also get back up, restructure and survive. I beat amazing odds, didn't give up and got back custody of my children, my next battle for the child support may be hard but I am doing it and doing it full on. I have also learned that help is there when you ask for it-I have a dentist willing to fix my teeth, my back doctor searching for someone to fix my back and things aren't as bad as they seem. I have good friends and I am remaining true to who I am inside. I have a plan for 10 years from now, I just need to tend to the next 10 years. My victory is that despite the odds and the craziness, my kids love me and nothing anyone does can change that. Into the fray-things need to be done and I am doing them

3 Comments:

  • At 4:52 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

    Your comment of being the likeness of "The Bride" is humorous and yet the only true application of what you have endured not just recently but over the long term.

    As one of your oldest and dearest friends, you know as well as I that I can also relate to "The Bride" Shoot me in the head, bury me somewhere in the desert, and send 88 crazy Chinese men (and one messed up teen) to kill me and you will be left with a bunch of moaning or dead saturated in their own blood. We are women you DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH!

    Pai Mei has a great quote: "Then you can't do it. What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?"

    Some time the road seems long and endless but we thrive on the moment when we can give that one person the "five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique" they deserve then ride off in our 1970 VW Karmann Ghia with a satisfied smile on our face.

    Queue End Credits

     
  • At 5:26 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

    Chris, glad to see you're back at this. Writing is good for the soul and also improves with age like a fine wine. Keep at it!

     
  • At 6:54 PM , Blogger Chris said...

    Thanks Dave! Min-Stacey gave me that figure around Eric's passing for my birthday to remind me that I am strong. Robert's pathetic habit of keeping a battle going is so lame-the other day when I explained that given their ages, Robert can no longer force visitation and he argued that-another lawyer standing next to us said "Excuse me, but she's actually correct" my response was "focus more on healing your relationship with them, than fighting me-because although you cannot win a fight with me-you MAY be able to heal your relationship with them if you try and mean it" Oh and Orion is at your dad's tonight lol Matt invited him to Post Road after Celebration Of Sound and I am so happy he is socializing, Matt said he'll keep an eye out for him. I am so glad, I think having a 6'2 buddy helps when you're the weird kid :)

     

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